Dreams and Nightmares
by Abarai Starsha
Summary: Toshiro wakes up to find Momo naked and on top of him yet he has no memory of how he got there... Rated M for use of the "p" word - no lemon.


**AN: I have some messed up dreams… I can only sympathize with my man here…**

**I do not own Bleach or its characters. Although there are a few I would love to borrow for the night…**

**

* * *

**

Dreams and Nightmares

By: Abarai Starsha

"Shirooo-chan…" a voice moaned softly.

Toshiro put his hand to his head. He felt like something was chipping away at the back of his right eyeball with an ice pick. The pain was intense.

"Come on, Shirooooo..." Female. Definitely female, and familiar, yet…wrong.

He tried to open his eyes, but the pain was still too intense. What the hell happened? He didn't know where he was or how he got there. The last thing he remembered was sitting at his desk. Hell was he still in his office? He felt something warm and wet slide across his lower jawbone.

He forced his eyes to open and look around. He couldn't remember how he got there, but there he was, lying on his couch. His uniform all but discarded and Momo was hovering over him. Whispering to him.

"Come on, please? You know how much I want you..." She said as she tugged on his pants. "You promised to be with me, always."

"Not like this." He said as he tried to get up. "What's going on?" He put his hand on her shoulder. It was then he realized she was fully naked. It was also then the door to his office opened to reveal a very shocked and a very hurt Rukia.

Momo smiled, not bothering to cover herself.

"Rukia-chan! Oops! I'm afraid you found us!" she said as she giggled.

"NO!" Toshiro said. "This isn't what it looks like! I…I don't remember how I got here!" Did that really sound as lame as he thought it did?

Rukia regained her composure as the Kuchiki mask fell into place. Without looking at either of them, she made her way to his desk.

"I know you've been working very hard these last few weeks and have been missing dinner. When you didn't show up again tonight, I thought I would bring it to you and tell you how proud of you I was," she said as she put the dinner down on his desk. Without another word she turned to leave.

"Rukia…" he started, shoving Momo off of him. Rukia hesitated at the door. Her hand on the knob. Momo grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her.

"Let her go, Shiro-chan, you know you've loved me since we were children, she can't compete with that. We'll love each other forever, like you promised." She said as she giggled.

Rukia turned the knob and walked out.

It took a few moments for the shock to wear off. Toshiro forcefully removed her hand and shoved Momo aside. He grabbed his robes and headed out.

"Shiro-chan! She will never love you like I do! She is nothing more than a cold noble fish!"

"Not now, Momo!" he said as he left. He got home, their home, as fast as he could. He opened the door, not knowing what he was going to tell her, but knowing he needed to see her. The place was silent.

"Rukia?" He entered and looked at the kitchen. The dishes were cleaned and put away, the table still set for one. Toshiro touched the table. Images of her sitting there waiting for him came to his mind. He balled his hand into a fist.

"Rukia?" He turned and walked through the living room to the bedroom. Empty. Where would she go? He closed his eyes and concentrated on her reiatsu. It was too faint to tell where she was. She was getting a lot better at hiding it. Damn it.

Walking back to the living room, he sat down on the couch and put his hands in his hair. He tried to retrace his steps, trying to figure out how he ended up like that without any recollection. He's been working late for the past few weeks. There was just so much to catch up on since the war. Here they were almost three years later and they still had a lot to go.

He was in his office earlier that day when Momo came to see him for lunch.

"_Shiro-chan! I'm so glad you came to see me for lunch!" Momo said as she hopped up and down. He met her outside of her favorite restaurant in Rukongai. "Rangiku-san couldn't come?"_

"_No, she has the day off."_

"_Really?" Momo was surprised. She smiled and with a glint in her eyes, she opened the door. "That's too bad."_

_They sat down after ordering. Toshiro sipped his tea._

"_How have you been? Is the new Taicho treating you well?"_

"_Yes, Hisagi-taicho is great. Although…"_

"_Hirm?"_

"_He's no you." She said as she smiled. He rolled his eyes at her._

"_Whatever, Momo."_

"_You know, I could always talk to Rangiku-san."_

"_About?"_

"_About trading divisions. We could work together, wouldn't that be nice, Shiro-chan?"_

"_I don't think that's such a good idea, Momo. I like things the way they are."_

"_Oh," she said as she pouted. "I hardly ever get to see you anymore since the war."_

"_Yeah, I hear that all the time from Rukia." He said as he smiled. Momo's eyes narrowed._

"_Yes, well, we all can't be free like her, can we? Someone has to do all the work left over from the war."_

"_Yeah, she's free," he gave a sarcastic laugh. "She's been training her tail off for the fukutaicho exam while already performing those duties for her division. Not only that, she's been running her clan until Byakuya recovers from his coma. Yeah, she's free. She works harder than anyone I know and still has time to make me dinner every night," he smiled. Truth was, he was extremely proud of her._

"_That's nice, Shiro-chan. Remember how we used to take walks by the pond near Grandma's house?" she said, changing the subject._

"_Yeah," he replied._

"_I miss those times. You know, when it was just us." She said shyly. She dropped her head and looked at him through her lashes. "Don't you wish you could go back to those simpler times?"_

"_I used to. But then I wouldn't have Rukia by my side."_

_Momo's face darkened._

"_Shrio-chan, don't you ever think about the 'what ifs'?"_

"_Seems like a waste of time," he said taking another sip of tea. It tasted strange, but he chalked it up to not being there in a while. Maybe they changed the type of tea used._

"_What about me? Do you think of me at all?"_

"_Of course I do, you're my friend."_

_Friend, Ack._

"_I mean, have you ever thought about me like you think about Rukia?" The realization hit Toshiro and he blushed._

"_Maybe, a long time ago when we were kids."_

_Momo reached across the table and took his hand._

"_Why can't we have that now?"_

"_Momo, I don't feel that way towards you. I'm with Rukia."_

_Momo huffed and let his hand go._

"_I bet if you gave me a chance to change your mind you would."_

"_Momo, I don't know where this is coming from, but I need to get back to work," he said. He stood up and the room began to spin._

_That was the last thing he remembered before passing out._

The central alarm rang, waking him from his thoughts. There were intruders in the Seireitei. Toshiro ran out of his house.

"Taicho!" Matsumoto hollered as she caught up to him. "Intel says it's – "

"Aizen's minions," he replied coldly.

The two of them heard an explosion.

"That sounded like it was close to the 13th." Matsumoto said.

"Shit," Toshiro said as he changed directions. Matsumoto followed closely behind.

After using shunpo, they both materialized in front of the 13th Division headquarters. Part of the building was on fire, the other part was frozen. As Toshiro and Matsumoto walked around the building they stopped in shock as they realized what they were seeing in front of them.

"RUKIA!" Toshiro screamed and started forward. Matsumoto grabbed his shoulder and held him back. He turned back to give her a glare. "What are you doing?" he demanded coldly.

"You can't go in there, Taicho. My job is to protect you, like hers is to protect Ukitake-taicho."

Toshiro looked again. There was a huge crater behind the building. Snow and ice surrounded the outside of the crater, containing the fire within.

Ukitake-taicho's burned and bloodied body was being taken care of by his two third seats. Rukia was further down inside the crater. She was barely standing, yet still trying to hold off a fire type Arrancar. She lifted her sword and called out her third dance as the Arrancar blasted her with a ribbon of fire out of its hand. Fire met ice and created steam.

Losing sight of both of them, Toshiro made move to get down there. He was surprised he was still being held back.

"Let me go!"

"I can't do that, Taicho."

The steam cleared. Toshiro couldn't believe his eyes, the Arrancar's face morphed into one he knew well.

"Watch me, Shiro-chan! With her out of the way, you can love me again!" The Arrancar / Momo said as she stood behind Rukia. She was on her knees, half conscious. Momo laid the blade of her sword across Rukia's neck and smiled up at Toshiro.

"NO!" Toshiro turned and gave Matsumoto an upper cut to her nose and grabbed Hyorinmaru. Matsumoto let go, fell back and grabbed her nose, crying out in pain as blood flowed freely between her fingers.

"Soten Ni zase, Hyorinmaru!" He called out as he used shunpo to get down the crater. The ice dragon flew ahead as it made its way, trying to catch the Momo/Arrancar.

"Too late, my love," Momo said as she brought her sword across Rukia's neck, slicing it open.

The ice dragon slammed into Momo, pulling her away from Rukia and out of the crater, freezing her solid.

Toshiro ran to Rukia who was struggling to breathe. He took her in his arms; she was cold and getting colder.

"Rukia! Rukia, no. You can't die on me, you hear me? You can't die on me!" He pleaded with her.

Rukia managed to open her eyes and looked at him. She couldn't talk, couldn't move, but her eyes, they held it all: The forgiveness, the love, the sorrow of leaving. Her breath hitched and she was gone.

"NO!" Toshiro screamed. He closed his eyes and everything was dark.

"Toshio," he heard his name being called.

"No," he said. Rukia was gone, nothing else mattered.

"Toshiro," the voice was louder this time. Female.

"Leave me alone."

"Toshio, wake up!" She called again.

Wake up? Toshiro opened his eyes. No longer was he in the middle of a bloody battlefield. No longer was Rukia's dead body before him. He was home. In his quarters, in his bed.

"It's about time you woke up!" she said. Toshiro looked over to the woman lying next to him. Her shoulder length raven hair shining in the moonlight. Concern showing in her violet eyes.

He took a deep breath and blinked. She was still there.

"Are you ok?" she asked, "It sounded pretty bad."

Toshio sat up and tugged on her sleeping kimono. Rukia sat up and wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her closer as he grabbed and held onto her waist. He put his head on her chest and listened to her heart beat as she drove a hand through his hair.

"I'm ok," he whispered, "I just need you." He closed his eyes and listened to the patter of her heart. She was alive, she was in his arms. He let go and looked at her. The way the moonlight hit her, was breath taking. "Let's take a few days off."

Rukia stopped playing with his hair and moved her hand to his forehead. "Are you feeling ok?"

"I told you, I'm ok. I want to take you away from here for a while is all. Is that bad?"

"No, it's just…not you," She said. "Are you feeling guilty over yesterday?"

"Huh?"

"You stood me up on our dinner date. I was cooking for you, remember? You ended up working late since you had lunch with Hinamori."

Toshiro paled. Images of a naked Momo assaulted his brain. "She drugged me!"

"What?" Rukia was getting concerned.

"At lunch…she drugged me and brought me to my office. She undressed me and…" He looked at Rukia who was looking at him like he flew off the deep end. "You didn't bring me dinner last night?"

"Yes, but you were passed out on your couch. I didn't want to disturb you considering you've been working so hard these past few weeks. Do you know how proud of you I am?"

Toshiro's eyes widened as he pushed her away.

"What did you say?"

"I said I was proud of you…You know, for working so hard." She leaned over and turned on a lamp. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"I think I am working too hard." He said shaking his head.

"I know what you need," Rukia said as she slowly untied her sash. She let her robe fall open as she gently pushed him back onto the bed and straddled him. She settled her hips right below his penis so that she could stroke him as she leaned in for a kiss.

Toshiro closed his eyes and felt her warm breath on his neck.

"I told you if you gave me a chance I would be better than Rukia."

Toshiro's eyes flew open. Instead of looking into Rukia's violet orbs, he found himself staring into Momo's chocolate brown ones.

"Gah!" he yelled as he sat up and pushed her off of him. He was on his couch. In his office.

"What the fuck?"

"Did you like the little trip I sent you on?" she said as she recovered herself. She sat back on the end of the couch.

"Get your clothes on! Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

"Shiro! Is that any way to treat your girlfriend?"

"What?"

"You asked me at lunch."

"Impossible. I told you I was with Rukia at lunch."

"Rukia? Shiro, what are you talking about? Rukia died in the war."

Toshiro froze.

"What?"

"You're talking about Kuchiki Rukia? She died. Aizen told me."

"Aizen?"

"Yes, Lord Aizen."

Toshiro put his hands to his head. He had a crick in his neck that wouldn't go away. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them, Momo was still there, still naked, still staring at him.

"Get out," he said as he stood up.

"Shiro!" Momo gasped, tears quickly welling up in her eyes.

"It's Hitsugaya-Taicho to you, now, get out." He said through gritted teeth. He finished dressed and left his office. He headed straight to the 13th division.

"Hey! Shiro-Taicho! How's it going?" Said a tall man.

"Sh-Sh-Shiba!" Toshiro's eyes were wide. What the hell was going on?

"You look like you've seen a ghost! Are you ok? You shouldn't work so much you know." He said as he laughed.

Regaining his composure he said, "I'm looking for Kuchiki Rukia."

Kaien's eyes grew soft. "Rukia-chan?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you're feeling ok? Rukia's been dead since the war."

"How?" Did he really want to know the answer? "How did she die?"

"Well, they said when you woke up from your coma you wouldn't remember much," he said as he sighed.

"What?" He put his hands to his head. This was unreal. He asked Momo to be his girlfriend, Kaien was alive, Rukia was dead. Nonononononononono!

"Are you ok? Do you need to go back to the 4th? They did say for you to take it easy these first few weeks. I mean, you were in a coma for a few months."

"Rukia, the war? What happened?"

"We won. Lord Aizen accepted the surrender of who ever wanted to turn to his side. Rukia, well. We all tried to tell her to give up, but you of all people knew how stubborn she was. She and her friends were made examples of and were executed up on the hill in front of everyone. You had tried to save her, but your Fukutaicho wisely held you back."

Toshiro's mind flashed back to his dream. The Momo / Arrancar taking her blade and slicing it across –

"Who killed her?"

"What?"

"Who killed her? Was it Aizen? Was it Ichimaru? Was it Hinamori? WHO, DAMN IT?" Toshiro grabbed Kaien's robes and pulled him down to his level.

"You know who it was," he said with a smile.

"Hinamori," Toshiro whispered as he let go of Kaien, "killed Rukia." He rubbed his aching neck to no avail.

"Toshiro?" The voice was distant. He turned around but his view grew dark.

"Toshiro?" The voice said again. It sounded familiar. Female.

"Hey! Are you going to wake up or what?" Female and nagging… Toshiro opened his eyes. He focused on his brush which was right in front of him. He was sitting at his desk, head down. He straightened his back and released the pressure to his neck. He quickly wiped the drool from his mouth and from the papers on his desk.

He looked up and found Matsumoto standing in front of him.

"It's about time you woke up. You've been working yourself to death, it no wonder you were asleep."

"Matsumoto?"

"Yes?"

He was almost afraid to ask. "Where's Rukia?"

"I don't know. Didn't you say she was going on a short mission last week?"

"Mission?"

"You really have been working too much if you can't remember where your wife is."

"Ah. I guess so." He said. He hesitated before asking another question. "Matsumoto?"

"Yes?"

"Where's Hinamori?"

"You're meeting her today for lunch."

"How do I know this isn't a dream?"

"Taicho?" Matsumoto looked at him with concern, then stood up and went to his desk. She poured him a glass of water and flung it at him.

"MATSUMOTO!" He hollered as he stood up, drenched with water. His hair flopping in his face.

"You wanted to know if you were awake!" she giggled.

"Send word to Hinamori, I won't make lunch today. I have some things I need to take care of." He walked towards his door and turned around, "I want that couch out of here by the time I get back."

"Taicho?" Matsumoto was left bewildered.

Later that day, Toshiro left the 1st Division and waited by the gate he knew she would be coming through. He knew he was being silly because of a dream, but he had to be sure. He knew something wasn't right. He just couldn't put his finger on it.

He looked up as the patrol party entered Soul Society. Isane and Rukia were the last to come through. Toshiro's eyes quickly scanned her body over. He had to be sure. His eyes widened at the bandage across her neck. He immediately jumped in front of her.

"What happened?" He asked as he took her hands in his.

"Hello to you to," she said as her eyes narrowed.

"Rukia?" She looked at him and could tell he was anxious and overworked. He does that every time she leaves. She smiled to herself.

"We ran into some of Aizen's left over rejects. I was fighting one who had the power of fire when another one came from behind. I should have caught her. It was a stupid mistake." She said as she touched the bandage. "I'm alright though, see?" She asked as she took his hand and placed it on the bandage, and then moved it to her heart.

"God, I have missed you," he said pulling her close to him. He kissed her, looked at her then kissed her again.

"I…missed…you…too," She replied between the kisses.

"One question." He said as he held her back, "What did the Arrancar look like?"

"She was short, a little taller than me. She had short brown hair and brown eyes. Her hole was where her heart should have been."

"Did she…did she remind you of Hinamori?"

"Maybe only in stature, Momo is much prettier. Why?"

"Nothing."

"Nightmares?"

"Yeah." He said as he looked away. Rukia hugged him tight.

"I'm on leave for the next two weeks," she whispered.

"I put in for a two week leave today." He whispered back. Rukia put her hand to his forehead.

"Are you feeling ok?"

"Enough!" He didn't want this dialog to turn out to be the same as his nightmare because if this was a dream, he wasn't about to wake up.

"I love you, Rukia."

"I love you, Toshiro."

_~FIN~_


End file.
